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You said hello as you walked away.You knocked on my door, when I had already left the apartment.
You whispered "I want you back", once I had gone deaf.
You called me constantly, when my number was not in service.
You said you had my back, when all I could see was yours.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
ScatteredSunflowers and peace signs.
Cigarettes and spill stains.
Umbilical chords and eulogies.
Running from self.
Running out of time.
Running into eternity.
Falling into darkness.
Falling in love.
Falling out of life.
Sunrises wed with sunsets.
Day making love to night.
Forever, never's mistress.
Broken glass and promises.
Cuts and contusions.
Dreams and stupor.
Seeing the us in others.
Feeling others in ourselves.
Looking through the hour glass.
Finding the universe within.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Missing you.Waking up to a day with no meaning, staring at the ceiling, thinking about leaving, feeling the grieving, aiming to have faith in believing, the sun is beaming, my soul is bleeding.––Just finished dreaming about something I don't want to be seeing, opening my eyes to harsh n heavy breathing, wishing I could wake up from this life i'm suddenly leading.
Feeling all sad, focusing on the bad, forgetting i'm alive, picking at life like a scab, getting awfully mad, as I remember what I once had, how it's come and gone like a crazy messed up fad, can't believe i've lost my dad. What once used to sing, is now deafening, that's the thing about unconditional love, it kills you after it stings. I feel like i don't belong, in my own fucking song, singing along to prolong forgetting what comes after it all goes wrong.
I'm left with just me, drowning in a fucking sea; of my own wish to flee. I just wanna be free from this third degree–– kinda pain, it's insane, what made sens
Anxious.I retire from the crowd, feeling kinda strange.
This anxiety is drowning me, somethings gotta change.
I gotta get in my mind's soul and start to rearrange––
your confidence for my sadness, care for an exchange?
This loneliness has company,
Gaining on me subtly,
I'm handing out custody,
I'm left with nil––utterly.
I think about tomorrow; wasting my today.
Already feel broke, before I even gotta pay.
I hear what I wanna hear, not what you have to say.
Losing bits of self; as I try and make my way.
This stressing is messing––
maybe it's a blessing;
dressing up depressing.
Trying to fool me, as it's assessing––
keeping me on my toes daily; guessing.
I need a change, now
I want to be the cause of "wow"
Just give me a go; allow,
I'll be the answer to your "how".
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Got me all crazy.You got me st-stuttering, my tongue fl-fluttering, spitting out cut-up-words––sputtering, before my mind can utter a decent mutter, i'm drownin' in––
visions of you, starting askew, rotated by my brain back into view, you're stripping down to your shoes, do it slower–– hey I like your tattoo, come on closer so we can do this taboo.
––Now turn around, lay on the ground, face up to me; while I bound you down, make you repeat a familiar noun, let me hear that fucking sound, as I grind round and round, oh look what I found.––
Say hello to my little friend, didn't take long for him to ascend, let's see how far he extends––i'll take it slow and sexy, do a little flexing, drag it out until it's perplexing and vexing––got you clenching your jaw, scratching my skin with your claws, every time it gets hot, I pin you down… n pause.
––Ok let's play, it's worth the delay, ima ride it like a sleigh
FateMoira is special, her favourite pastime is observing strangers as they go about their day, everyone looks like a replica.
She never speaks loud enough to be heard, she's addicted to the silence.
She keeps to herself, no one understands her form of communication.
Today is Wednesday at 1:04 PM and she's leaning on a tree, contemplating the crowd.
She whispers, "I love you" as she sees a man walking in the bustling streets of New York.
Masses of people ignoring one another, trying to get to their destination; a tracing blur.
Such commotion and distraction yet she cant stop staring.
Everyone rushing in this emphatic environment, and he strolls without a care in the world.
The crowd dissipates and he's in pristine focus.
The sea parts slightly and their eyes find each other.
"I love you" she whispers once more.
She turns around and walks to her bus stop––wondering what he likes to eat for breakfast.
He stops close by, behind a tree and observes her for a few minutes
His and her love."Don't let go", he said,
she complied, as he bled.
"I love you more than life,
my one and only; my wife.
––Don't cry for me baby,
just promise to never forget me"
She wept and held him tight,
shaking, in the cold of night.
She pulled out the blade,
his vision began to fade.
"I refuse to let you go,
you know that you're my beau.
Stay with me… right now,
don't leave me like this…how?
I can't love you more than this,
nothing comes close to when we kiss.
WE have to be kept alive!,
let's BOTH fall and take the dive!
you and me… in the dark…
forever igniting…our spark…
I said I'd die for you, I meant it."
tears fell down his face as she said it.
"It has all lead up to this instant,
you and I, our existence...
We'll rise up to the sky,
we'll be together when we die.
Just me… and you,
Forever in my heart.
you are my missing part."
She grabed the knife on the floor,
and lay still, by his side forever more.
"I love yo
My kind of love.I want the kind of love that forms colourful wings in my stomach that fly in circles because they're disorientated from my hearts heavy beating.
I want the kind of love that's so radiant, I can't even bare to look in it's direction without closing my eyes first–– it burns brighter than the sun.
The kind of love that starts off slow then gains on you like a cheetah, devouring you into itself, for sustenance, creating a pattern only known to the gods.
A love that scares the fear, out of my life; making anything possible again.
A love that regresses two adults back into kids, playing hide and seek with their future.
I want the kind of love that's a Sunday in the middle of the week––inconvenient.
I want the kind of love that dances at a funeral––inappropriate.
I want the kind of love that's a muse to an artist––inspiring.
I want the kind of love that's a .44 magnum revolver in a trunk of BB guns––authentic.
Love that sparkles in t
Darkness vs. LightDarkness creeps so slowly,
I am caught by surprise.
Somehow my world plunges into unending sorrow.
All it takes is a song,
Then I am falling.
Silent screams echo in my ears.
I struggle to find a light bright enough.
Something to fend off the darkness like a sword.
It isn’t fair to face the darkness knowing there is no escape.
I will not die.
Life clings to me against my will.
Where is my other half?
My soul mate?
I don’t want to be alone,
Facing down my demons without a shred of hope.
Shine so brightly I will be drawn to you.
I can’t forget I need to shine.
I just feel as if my light is dimming.
How will you find me if I am swallowed by my darkness?
A spark of hope.
I need a way to defeat my sorrows,
So I can help battle yours.
Just a glimmer of hope?
for the people with depression.one day, the pressure becomes hard to take.
I don't know what to do, only know that it aches
The past is just haunting, and it keeps going on
Don't know anything anymore, only that something is wrong.
It was the loss of a love, the death of a friend
Half of my heart that I wish didn't end
I knew he was gone, but I couldn't believe
So I hid the pain in cuts under my sleeves
No reason to smile, no reason to live
I cut because blood's the only thing I can give
But now I know that I'm not alone, there's someone who cares
One person's gone but everyone else is still there
I know that it's painful, I know how you feel.
I have depression, PTSD, I know that it's real
But one day I got up and hung into life
And day by day, I avoided my knife
I wrote free verse poetry, shed all my tears
Drew all the good things I ever had in my years
Little by little, I healed very slowly
It's not over yet, but I'm not as lonely
What I'm trying to tell you is to believe and to hope
You don't have to die hanging
Play My Heart Out LoudWalk on fire
Walk on earth
Heart, my desire,
Of hope, giving birth
Walk in snow
And walk in rain
So for all to know
But one heart to chain
Walk on oceans
Walk on clouds
Play my emotions
Like a harp, out loud
I Wasn't Supposed To Be Worth It.Was it worth it?
Trading the taste of cinnamon on your lips
To smell like cigarettes and a painful hangover.
Was life so cruel to your perfectly skewed smile,
That you had to swallow a bottle of brandy
Every night at 9 pm
To hear yourself laugh again?
How could I have not noticed
The tremor in your right hand
Every time you held a pen?
Was I so blind for the love you had for me to see
That my love was destroying you?
'I am yours.' You whispered when you still had Petrichor surrounding you.
I inhaled your scent like oxygen,
All the while I suffocated you like sulfur.
You gave me your heart on a plate,
And I was the last pill that took your life away from you too.
Mother always told me I broke the things I had
Because that is how I was;
Selfish and undeserving.
I didn't deserve you.
You weren't supposed to be mine.
If I Could Say The WordsI wish that you were in my arms tonight
And I could tell you a truth
I've been holding so tight
I hope my words could steal your heart
If I could say them right
I can't pretend I'm not afraid
When I think of us face to face...
I've been holding back so long
Rehearsing the lines
I've played out this scene
Far too many times
My heart is in your hand
Don't you understand
I can't pretend I'm not afraid
When you and I are face to face...
And how many nights
Can I dream that I've said
All of these words
Then wake to find it was all in my head...
...Now I know exactly what to say
When it's you and I face to face
You can wish on a star
Close your eyes and wherever you are
I'll be there for you
Until it comes true
But if your dreams fall apart
I'll still be the light in the dark
I'd find a way
If I could say the words
If I could say the words...
A Probable EntityDo you realize
The elements that shape you
What defines your mind
Understand the origins
Of your horrors and your joys
All the people
And places you have been to
All the smells
All images and touches
Do you feel them swirling
Through your hot brain matter
Do you know why
You do the things you do
And why you feel
The way you think you should
Do you realize
Hear the whispers
Of your deepest wishes
Can you see them how
They distort and twist
Your naked identity
Do you feel it
Your skin is cracking
With noises in your blood
Your subconsciousness creeping
In your body
In corners of your mind
Can you separate it
Can you become pure again
Can you comprehend
Your elusive personality
As a realized possibility
As a probable entity
Empty Pages.You are the perfect story,
A plot unfurling from your touch,
And poetry in your eyes.
You speak with golden glory,
Into sentences of hate,
And promises of lies.
You are the book
I never had the words to write.
ShadowsHer silhouette is beautiful.
Her eyes…when she cries are like ice.
A face frozen in time.
A wonder to behold.
She stares back at me with grey pupils.
Her brown hair dances in the wind.
She tells me she feels dead inside.
But to feel dead is alive.
Or so I’ve been told…
Feeling alone is alive.
To feel something is alive.
So I don’t push her away.
I motion her to come closer.
And she does
She creeps closer
Like the object that she is.
Like the robot that she is.
She tells me that she hates me.
I shrug it off. I don’t care.
But her words pierce me
She’s good at it
Like she’s Ares.
But we’re a single being,
Whether she likes it or not.
She is part of who I am.
I am part of who she is.
We’re made of each other,
We’re made for each other.
We see through each other like glass.
We understand each other’s darkness
Because we’ve experienced it together.
Ode to the wilted CamelliaIt all began with a smile...
The freshly awaken Camellia, morning's wonder
Highlighted even on a rubies' field
She was her own spring sun ; a mellifluous beauty
The gullible Camellia, tricked by this charming rose
Got stung to the blood, cleaned out of her inner light.
Another victim of this world's rottenness
The saddening outcome of a barbaric act.
The daughter of Nature got fouled
Reeked of the rose's stench
Acid rain poured on this virgin sprout
And lost her blossom forever
She dreams of nightmares, craves forgetfulness
Floods of tears under the bloody moon
Her desperate and heartbreaking screams
shatter the icy silence of the Withering Night.
Eternity may not be long enough
For the Camellia to shed all her sorrow -
Oh ruthless Scythe!
You sent to the skies such a pretty Camellia.
...It all ended with a bullet.
SynchronousA little girl waltzes to a tune in her head.
A young boy begs the streets for some bread.
A mother waits in a hospital room full of dread.
A groom smiles at his wife-to-be as they wed.
An old lady pulls the last bit of her thread.
A homeless man stares at a stores comfy bed.
A boy loves a girl; she loves a woman instead.
A teenager writes a suicide note to be read.
A drunk man doesn't see the truck up ahead.
A once minor virus, begins to spread.
A billion single tears are being shed.
An army of first-time soldiers are being lead.
A colourblind man see's a lady in red.
A heartbeat begins, after being pronounced dead.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
How It Began"God, your two o'clock is here."
"I have a two o'clock?"
"He's been here since 7:45. I figured it's only polite to... sir."
God sighed. "Fine, send him in."
While He waited God cleared His desk of papers and blueprints; no need for outsiders to see His plans. Soon enough the door to His office opened and God stood, smiled, held out a hand towards one of the two visitor's chairs.
"God! Great stuff you're doing in sector 2-7-0! Great stuff!"
The man's hands were clammy, his handshake limp. Rumpled suit, porkpie hat, briefcase... oh Jes-- oh dear, a salesman. God's smile slipped a little but He soldiered on gamely. With luck He could shoo the poor guy away in a few minutes.
"So, what can I do for you?"
The man sat, briefcase across his knees. "Sector 2-7-0! Everyone's talking about it! What do you call it? Man and merman?"
"Man and woman, actually. And thanks. But we're pretty busy around here, and..."
"Oh! Right! No time for the wicked, eh?" The salesman winked and popped his briefcase,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More