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Submitted on
May 3
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Your silence says it all.

All the words you’ve never said say more than you’d ever be able to string into a sentence.
I hear the answers to the questions that haunt me in the absence of your dialogue.

Your words, darling, have no meaning; they lost their signification when they became predictable.
I can’t bear to listen to your easy words, instead let your back do the talking as the space between it, and myself expands.

This facile manner of communication is deafening.
The quietude echoes over your actions;

your silence says it all.

© Rocio Belinda Mendez
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:iconfawn-de-menthol:
Fawn-de-menthol Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey I'm back! This time critiquing (Officially) for :iconpowerfulwriting:PowerfulWriting~!

Though much of what I said below still applies (how the reader feels the pain and powerlessness that accompanies silence as the piece scolds away - literally one post down as I write this ^^;) though I would like to add, (after a month of wising up,) that where formatting and flow is concerned it may bear some issues: for starters it looks and is formed like a prose rather than poetry to me, and I read it as an one-sided argument anyway. Maybe you could make it feel like a poem by breaking up the sentences more, perhaps fix up the punctuation of the text to make it flow easier. Alternatively, you could remove the line breaks entirely and fix it up to be a prose poem, and then it really would feel like one continuous telling-off session ^^;

Lots of love, Fawnzy!
:iconpowerfulwriting: - Write...powerfully?
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Ah thank you so much, you're right :) I made some changes. Thank you for your second critique and advice. x
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:iconfawn-de-menthol:
Fawn-de-menthol Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm speechless, lol ^^;
In all seriousness the poem is capturing, delivering to the reader (as I observed at least), how powerful and hurtful silence can be, as the loss for words express the true emotions before it's listener, that makes any words that could possibly be said pale in comparison.
At the same it's scolding connotation in this poem's atmosphere places the reader in the Silent'ss position, and demonstrates how powerless silence really makes it's wielder.

I myself fear the silence, but for different reasons. Even so - good job!

P.S. "and I expands" is a typo, I think you may want to address that. (and it expands? and I expand?)
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
Oh woah, thank you so much. I'm so glad you felt so much while reading this piece : ) I appreciate your words. 
Yeahhh that sentence felt funny to me too, although expand wouldn't be right either, the space expands not the space expand. I changed "I" to "myself"
I think it reads better, what do you think?

x
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:iconfawn-de-menthol:
Fawn-de-menthol Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
and yes I think that is better.
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
yay, me too. Thanks again, hope to see you around these parts, peace x
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:iconfawn-de-menthol:
Fawn-de-menthol Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That would be great! Check out my gallery sometime if you want to see what I'm up to. :)
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
will do x
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:iconpoetrywriter27:
poetrywriter27 Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
i loved reading this one thanks for posting it 
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
you're welcome! so glad you liked it : ) x
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