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Literature Text
Time passes and I still end up saying your name, when I told myself I wouldn’t let it slip out of my lips.
Memories are still clear as ever, painfully so, although they’re starting to merge into one colossal dream that managed to become a nightmare in a matter of seconds.
I wonder if you wonder, the way I wonder.
I wonder if this is just a writers mind.
Lost, confused, scared, hurt, sad, lament, pain, excuses, replaying, broken, worthless.
–– These are just some of the words that come to mind, when I think of our final chapter. They taste rancid in my mouth, and I spit them out on days I remember our story.
Your face is not in focus anymore, which helps keep you out of my mind. Some days you creep in anyway, with your blurred features and fuzzy outline. I know I could focus your image if I really tried, but I don’t want to see your face, I’d rather see your back, so I remember you’re in my past.
I wonder if you wonder, the way I wonder.
I wonder if this is just a writers mind.
When I say your name I regress to when it was said with a fearless love, now it’s said with a fear of love.
When I talk of my experience I regress to when our separation seemed ludicrous, now it seems ludicrous to think we were ever that close.
I don’t think about you often at all, but when I do it’s surreal.
You were all I knew, and now you’re my ignorance incarnate.
From nothing to something, from something to nothing; life is insistent with this cycle.
I wonder if you wonder, the way I wonder.
I wonder if this is just a writers mind.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Literature
I've lost faith in you if you haven't caught on
well you have seen this before,
some page of my poetry laying naked
on your computer or phone screen
like some discarded x-file.
and you read the lines greedily,
wondering if maybe, just maybe
I am writing about you
and I am.
You smile at that because you know
that you have my words tied between your fingers
and you could set them loose if you wanted to.
You like the control.
You could shut off your computer screen,
turn off your phone
never message me back and
it would not make a difference.
These files will still be here,
my thoughts and your thoughts still
clouding the windshield of my head
and we will still never be together.
Literature
The Word Count Is None
You once said you’d write a poem to my mother
About how much you loved her only son
But something seems to have changed in your heart of late
And now the word count has become none
I know I am not your knight in shining armour
In fact no armour could protect me
From all the nights I have spent sitting in the dark
With no moon to light up my misery
You once said you had dreamt of the two of us
Young lovers stood knee deep in a lake
But you chose to increase the depth of the water
Before I even had a chance to wake
Now I am drowning in the dreams of your sunset
As I can't get a handle on my blues
Still I offer you my shoulders to stan
Literature
I Just Want to Understand.
You know the shreds of my story.
Lately, I've even given you the glue
So that you can piece it all together,
And just understand me.
So why won't you let me in?
You gave me a sheet of paper,
And bare snippets of the rest.
I tried offering my own glue,
But you just threw it away.
I just want to understand.
I don't want you to hurt,
I just want to know how it feels.
I want to be empathetic,
And maybe even learn sympathy.
I just need you to speak to me.
Tell me what hurts, and let's dissect it
And understand why it's killing you.
Just let me in so that I, too, can see -
And together we can beat it down.
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© 2014 - 2024 rociobelindamendez
Comments17
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i believe most of us have felt quite the same way~
i specifically liked the logical incongruity that was present in this poem and the clever and seemingly easy way you played with words~
i specifically liked the logical incongruity that was present in this poem and the clever and seemingly easy way you played with words~
