Hi there. I am critiquing this on the behalf of I absolutely love this poem. it is very powerful and beautiful. You have a talented way with words that resonant with the reader. I personally love the line "We're just passing through life or is life passing through us?" I also love, although I'm not sure if this was your intention, how there are two voices in this poem. It seems like every other two lines are being spoken by a different person. Again I'm not sure if this was your intention but it seems to be two lovers enjoying their last moments together before the apocalypse or something. Like I said it might just be me but it adds a bitter-sweetness to the poem which is absolutely lovely.
Oh why thank you! I appreciate your critique, i'm so glad you found a few layers, this piece has quite a few, the two lovers is definitely an option, it's open to interpretation. When I wrote this I felt like I was in a mild trance, trying to find the words to describe what I was feeling, the use of love, lovely, dear, is a way to make it a little more than words, more of a conversation Thank you so much again, I love hearing how my writing impacts or makes others feel/think. xx