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Literature Text
It seemed like an eternity ago.
Before he had begun to share his shadow with odium.
Before the night had arrested his ambition, and locked it in a seething cage of artifice.
His heart weighing him down
–– So close to the ground he could see his early grave digging itself, as his eyes mourned the sight of light and flight.
With every step he grew colder.
With every step he was closer to the end of the road.
He couldn’t remember anything except darkness.
He could’t see anything but the ground inundating his soul, step by step.
How did he get here?
An eternity ago, there was a young man with a smile that swayed the trees.
He had his hopes in one hand, and his dreams in the other; both, equally dense.
He had a beating heart, yet it lacked empathy.
He had morals, yet they lacked discipline.
He was searching for an answer before even knowing his own question.
An eager fool, with nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Or was it the contrary?
Keen to make a difference –– if it was easy enough.
Suddenly, along the woods in which he walked, he heard noises, fate knocked on his door, and tested his intentions.
There was a shrieking woman wailing for help, desperation in her screams, agony in her whimpers –– “Please!–– Help ––Anyone!!”
The young man looked to the direction of the scandal, and lowered his head like a coward.
He walked with his head down, avoiding the vicious actions being performed a mere 10 meters from his own.
He walked until there were no more screams, although it wasn’t many steps further.
It wasn’t the distance of the actions to his that caused the screams to stop.
It was her ability to scream that had been aborted.
With that silence, he heard it all.
His spinelessness was apparent, and with every step it became physically so.
Nothing to keep him standing tall, nothing to keep him upright.
His hands dangled at his sides without purpose. He dropped his hopes and dreams on the floor once and for all.
Hunched in disdain he began his road into darkness.
Forever waiting for fate to knock once more.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
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Comments7
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Hi! I am critiquing this on the behalf of 
and I love this piece! It is very well written and the rhythm is nice. It flows really well and the pacing is pretty even. I particularly love this line: An eager fool, with nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Or was it the contrary? I also really love the beginning. It's a wonderful description of depression and despair. It also has a very Crime and Punishment feel to it which is great. Overall I really love this piece. Keep up the good work!
and I love this piece! It is very well written and the rhythm is nice. It flows really well and the pacing is pretty even. I particularly love this line: An eager fool, with nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Or was it the contrary? I also really love the beginning. It's a wonderful description of depression and despair. It also has a very Crime and Punishment feel to it which is great. Overall I really love this piece. Keep up the good work!